Watchable Wildlife Joke Page!

A millipede walks up to a centipede and asks "You wanna join our club?" And the centipede says "No, you have too many members!"

Why did the fungi marry the alga? - He took a lichen to her!

Why do sharks only swim in salt water? - Because pepper water makes them sneeze!

What happens to a frog when it gets too many parking tickets? - It gets Toad!

What kind of shoes do mice wear? - Squeakers

Why was the frog happy? - Because he ate everything that bugged him!

Definition: buoyant - an immature male ant

What did one frog say to the other frog? - Time's fun when you're having flies!

What do you call a vaccination for male deer? - Buck shot!

Whats the best way to call a skunk? - Long distance!

What do you call a woodpecker without a beak? - A head banger!

What do you get if you cross poison ivy with a four leaf clover? - A rash of good luck!

Eight geese walk into a bar - what do they order? - V-8!

What do you get if you cross a parrott with a centipede? - A walkie-talkie!

Definition: information - how ducks fly

Why did the Turkey cross the road? - To prove it wasn't chicken.

What do you get if a line of 100 rabbits step backwards at the same time? - A receding hairline!

What do frogs order in restaurants? - French Flies

Why don't Ant Eaters get sick? - They're full of anti bodies!

Why did the rabbit cross the road? - To go to the hopping mall.

What do Pelicans like to eat? - Whatever fills the bill

What did all the young female trees do on Friday night? - Had a lumber party.

Where would you find a penniless octopus? - On squid row.

What kind of tree has hands? - A Palm tree.

Why do ducks walk softly? - They can't walk "hardly".

Why don't turkeys get invited to cocktail parties? - They use fowl language.

Why did the owl question the grizzly? - Because he wanted the bear facts.

What kind of duck robs banks? - A safe quacker!

What do you call a Fly with no wings? - A "Walk"

What birds spend most of their time on their knees? - Birds of Prey

Where do birds invest their money? - The Stork Market

Why didn't the little goose believe what his grand father said? - It was all "papa gander"

A guy had a toad on his head and someone asked "What on earth is that?!" The Toad answers -"I don't know - it started as a wart on my stomach!"

What do you call a deer with no eyes? - No eye deer

What has more lives than a cat? - A frog, it can croak every night

What did the mother buffalo say to her little boy as he left for school? - Bison

A guys fishes without a license one day and catches a big walleye - puts it in a cooler and decides to head home.
A conservation officer drives up and says "What's in the cooler?"
The guy says "My pet fish."
"Pet fish!", exclaims the officer. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. What do you mean Pet Fish?!"
The guy says "Yeah, I bring it out and let it into the lake to swim...after a bit, when I'm ready to go home, I whistle and the fish comes back to me and we go home."
"That's got to be the biggest tale I've ever heard!" says the officer. The guy says, "Well let me prove it!"
The officer says, "I've got to see this!", and they head down to the bank where the guy had been fishing.
The guy takes the walleye out of the cooler while talking to it like a pet and places it into the water, after which he picks up the cooler and starts to walk away.
The officer, all befuddled, exclaims, "Where are you going?!"
The guy says "Home!"
The officer says, "But what about the fish?!"
"What fish?", says the guy as he drives away.

When does "B" come after "U"? - When you disturb its hive!

What does a Polar Bear get when it sits on the ice too long? - Polaroids

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